One thing that needs to be said about the message on Sunday is that in no way was it being said that you must insert yourself aggressively or assertively into every situation. It must be said that the message on Sunday was about David and the situation David was facing. "What if David had gotten involved?" is a fair question. Yet, the big idea of how to properly discipline and direct our children lies within a concept we here call a part of our DDP (Description of a Discipled Person). One aspect of a discipled person is that they are Dependent on the Holy Spirit.
Some call this different things: still small voice, gentle whisper, conscience. While all these terms could be talking about the same thing, it also must be understood that they are not necessarily the same thing. Let me explain: conscience to a Buddhist is different than to a Christian and neither is speaking of a cricket directing a little wooden puppet to make moral decisions. Conscience could be just an understanding of what is morally acceptable based on culture and then feeling an emotion that directs one to avoid said action (i.e. Lying is bad, therefore I won't do it). The problem is that if cultures disagree about what is good or bad morally, then conscience is subjective and not much use to us at all.
The Christian understanding is that God has given a gift at salvation called the Holy Spirit (2Cor 1:22, Eph 1:14) that guarantees our salvation and begins to lead us in paths of righteousness. The Holy Spirit, God Himself (Acts 5:3-4 and elsewhere) leads us as a lamp (Zech 4:6) and gives us conviction, teaching us what is right and wrong (Jer 31:33, Eph 6:17, Jn 16:8). This leading of the Holy Spirit provides us the conviction we need to avoid sin and the gentle leading of the law to know what God would want us to do in any area of our life. Christ followers are dependent on the Holy Spirit. They listen to Him and are guided by Him.
So, when parenting, if you are a Christ follower, know that the Spirit will guide you and can be relied on. This will help to determine in any situation whether to engage or retreat and listening to the Spirit before the flesh is one great marker of whether you are letting God be in control or whether you are just controlling things (or trying to!) yourself.
Thanks for reading and more is coming!